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Words of Grace

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Sticks and stones, words hurtRemember that old nursery rhyme we shouted on the playground when we were kids?

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me!

What were we thinking? Sure, sticks and stones can break bones, but bones heal. Words can leave wounds that last for decades and scars that last forever.

God knows both the destructive capability and healing power of words.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29, ESV

These words, written by Paul to the Christians in Ephesus, challenge me. I tend to open my mouth and allow words out before I consider their effect. But I don’t think I’m alone in this struggle. “Speech” seems to be a difficult area for many Christian women.

I believe one reason we struggle with speaking only words that build up others is our own insecurities. We sometimes feel so bad about ourselves we think we will feel better if we bring someone else down – even if we do this subconsciously. But it doesn’t help. We usually just end up feeling worse about ourselves.

I don’t want to tear down and hurt others with my words. I want to encourage, build up, and help. What about you?

Whether we initiate conversation or respond to someone else we should always use words that communicate grace to the hearer.

grace, considering the grace God has given us. Here are a few guidelines:

  1. Remember the grace God has freely given us.
  2. Remember that God will hold us accountable for every word spoken (Matthew 12:33-37).
  3. Refuse to use “corrupt” speech. This is not simply four-letter words, but words that wound, discourage, or tear down.
  4. Commit to using “good” words – kind and gracious words that build up and encourage.
  5. Focus on the positive, not the negative. Find something positive with which to begin and end our conversation.
  6. Don’t waste time talking about things that can’t be changed.
  7. Ask questions. Find out more about the other person and their feelings. Don’t focus on ourselves.
  8. Consider withholding a comment. Sometimes the most gracious thing to say is nothing. Exercise self-control.
  9. Constantly check our hearts. Our words reflect our attitudes and motivations. Ungracious words reveal an ungracious spirit. (See Matthew12:34-36.)

What helps you check your speech and use words that encourage, help, and build up others?

 

 

 

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A Safe Place

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God is My Refuge by Kathy HowardThe following is Week One, Day One from my new devotional book, “God Is My Refuge,” which officially releases this week.  The purpose of this book is to guide women to God’s promises of help in the Bible and help them understand and apply them to their lives. May He be your “ever-present help” in times of trouble.

Week One’s Memory Verse:

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.   Psalm 46:1

A Safe Place

Read: Psalm 46:1-7                                                      Weekly memory verse: Psalm 46:1

“Safe! I’m on base, I’m safe! You can’t get me now!”

Remember playing the game of tag as a child? The person who was “it” chased all the other players hoping to tag one, making them “it” for the next round. Most of the players ran quickly to the safety of home base. However, at least one player would usually tempt fate by continuing to run around, barely darting out of the grasp of “it” again and again. Not me though. I always ran straight to home base and the protection it provided.

I haven’t played tag in a very long time, but I still need a safe place to run to when the troubles of life threaten to overtake me. I need a refuge – a shelter, a place of safety that protects me from danger and trouble.

In John 16:33, Jesus said His followers will have trouble in this world. We live in a fallen world, full of troubles of all kinds. In fact, sometimes, like the mountains in Psalm 46:3, we may see our lives crumbling around us while the flood waters rise. But God offers protection for His children in distress.

According to Psalm 46:1, God is our refuge, our “ever-present help in trouble.” He has the power to save and authority to act. We don’t have to fear our circumstances. God is bigger than our personal crisis, any physical disaster, or political upheaval. Whenever and wherever His children need help, God is there.

Reflect & Apply

What troubles, difficulties, or heart-aches are you dealing with now?

List the things you learned about God from today’s Scripture.

Do you believe God is bigger than your troubles? Reflect on how God may choose to use your troubles for His purposes.

Prayer Prompt

Write a prayer to God acknowledging Him as your refuge, your place of safety.

Memory Minute (Why Should I memorize Scripture?)

Each day of devotions will guide you through a quick exercise to help you memorize that week’s memory verse. Please take a minute or two each day to follow the suggestions and by the end of the week you should know it “by heart.” Don’t forget to review them regularly.

For a constant reminder that God is our source of strength and place of safety, commit to memorize Psalm 46:1.

  1. Read the verse.
  2. Read the verses immediately surrounding it to understand the context in which it is written (in this case, read Psalm 46:1-3).
  3. Rewrite the verse in your own words.
  4. Write the verse and reference on a card. This card should fit the type of storage system you’ve chosen for your verses.
  5. Read it out loud three times.

How do you feel about memorizing Scripture? Is it something you want to do? Have you had success in the past?

A month-long blog tour begins today to spread the word about this resource. This post from last week lists all the bloggers who are participating. If you comment on this post you will be entered for a chance to win a copy of the book.

Find out more about “God Is My Refuge.”  Purchase it now on Amazon or CBD.

 

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Do you need a refuge?

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Available now on Amazon! Give the gift of God’s encouragement this Christmas! Read on for your chance to win a copy!

God Is My Refuge“In this world you will have trouble.” Jesus said it and our lives prove it. From financial need and illness to loss and broken relationships, every Christian woman encounters difficulties. We believe God can help, but many of us don’t know where to go in the Bible to find the comfort, peace, and guidance he longs to give.

My new book, God Is My Refuge: 12 Weeks of Devotions & Scripture Memory for Troubled Times, provides the direction women need to discover, understand, and apply the ”ever-present help” that only God can give.

This daily devotional combines Scripture reading, insightful commentary, personal reflection, and Scripture memory to help women draw closer to God and experience His help in the midst of life’s trials.

See what the book is like. Download one day’s devotion now!

Words of endorsement for God Is My Refuge:

“God is My Refuge” is an intimate and interactive devotional that will point you to the power and comfort of God’s presence. Each page will lead your heart to Hope – because this book illuminates a love that is higher, wider, deeper and farther than any other. Gwen Smith, Author, Speaker, Worship Leader and co-founder of Girlfriends in God

God does not promise a life free from difficulty but He does promise to be our place of refuge in the midst of the storm. In her new 12-week devotional book, Kathy Howard shines the light of God’s Word on the darkness of life’s trouble and trials. Kathy guides you to Scripture that directly speaks to many of life’s most difficult situations and helps you apply its truths.   Carole Lewis, First Place 4 Health National Director and author of “Live Life Right Here Right Now”

Life can be hard. We all need to know there’s a place we can go to find shelter from the storms of this life. In her 12-week devotional, God Is My Refuge, Kathy Howard inspires readers to turn to and trust the only One who can be their Refuge in trying times. With transparency and wisdom, Kathy fosters faith and hope for hurting hearts while offering practical application to biblical principles. Stephanie Shott, author and founder of The M.O.M. Initiative

I am so excited about the release of this great resource I want to give a copy away before Christmas. I will draw the winner at 8am Tuesday, Dec 18. I will enter your name for each of the following ways you enter:

  1. “Like” my FaceBook author page
  2. “Share” a link to my  FaceBook author page
  3. Share the Amazon link to “God is My Refuge” on FaceBook
  4. Share this blog post about “God is My Refuge” on Facebook
  5. Comment on this blog post!

Be sure to tag me in your posts and shares so I can enter your name!

The official release date is January 8, but the book is now available on Amazon. This is the perfect gift for every woman on your Christmas list! Give the gift of God’s strength and encouragement! 

In what ways has God been your refuge in times of trouble?

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Holiness is Not a Shade of Grey

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Recently two Christian women (one middle-aged like me and one a young mom) passionately shared with me their confusion over why so many of their Christian friends are devouring the New York Times best-selling novel “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Honestly, I have the same question.

“Fifty Shades of Grey” should be black and white to Christians.

Just in case you have no idea what I’m talking about, let me quickly fill you in. “Fifty Shades of Grey,” the first in a trilogy, is the debut novel by British author E.L. James released this April. Here’s a quick summary of the book I copied from Mary Kassian’s blog (I provide a link to her post below):

The books in question are erotica that explicitly describe sexual bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism (BDSM). The story follows an unfolding affair between a recent college graduate, the virgin Anastasia Steele, and handsome young billionaire entrepreneur, Christian Grey, whose childhood abuse left him a deeply damaged individual, and who enlists her to share his secret sexual proclivities. Steele is required by Grey to sign a contract allowing him complete control over her. Because of her fascination and budding love for him, she consents to a kinky sexual relationship that includes being slapped, spanked, handcuffed, and whipped with a leather riding crop in his “Red Room of Pain.”

fifty shades of greyI just checked Amazon’s stats. “Shades of Grey” was number one in books. Oddly enough, the book received some harsh reader reviews regarding the quality of the writing. So, how did the trilogy grab spots one, two, and three on the New York Times bestsellers list? Sex does indeed “sell.” Unfortunately, sex sells to Christians too.

“Shades” is classified as “erotica,” which by definition means “sexually explicit literature or art.” Let’s stop right here. Honestly, based on the book description and the dictionary definition of “erotica,” Christian women have no business reading this book. But they are.

Holiness and obedience is a choice we all make

I will honestly tell you that I have read books and watched movies that I later regretted because the content was inconsistent with my faith. Either the language or behavior mocked God or directly contradicted His holiness. Sometimes I turned off the television, left the theater, or threw away the book. But not always.

However, I believe I can honestly say that in recent years I have not picked up a book or bought a ticket or tuned into a program knowing in advance that the “entertainment” would defy God’s standards of morality and truth. And I do not have to read “Fifty Shades of Grey” to know it glorifies what God clearly says is wrong.

I’ve heard the arguments. It’s just fantasy. I’m not participating, I’m just reading fiction. I need to know how to speak to the culture. If you are considering reading this book, please, please read these articles I’ve listed below first. These posts were written by Christian women in ministry who know what they’re talking about. They explain how this written word affects our thinking and harms our relationships with our husbands and future husbands. How it fosters a change in behavior. How it desensitizes us to sexual immorality. Check these out:

  • On the True Woman blog Dannah Gresh gives biblical and sound scientific evidence why reading this kind of material is harmful to women and our marriages.
  • Crystal Renaud on her site for Dirty Girls Ministries. Crystal offers help, hope, and healing for women and girls with pornography and sexual addiction.
  • Author and Bible teacher, Mary Kassian on her blog Girls Gone Wise. Mary gives 7 solid reasons why a Christian woman – or any woman for that matter – should not read this book.
  • Lest you think this is just the opinion of “ministers,” check out this blog by Dana Suggs. She is a mom, photographer, and Christian blogger writing from the perspective of an average Christian woman who loves to read.
  • Here’s one more honest and entertaining view by Christian mommy blogger Melissa Jenna.

As long as I’m on my soapbox, I might as well work up a good lather and mention one other popular, but very worldly item Christian women are gobbling up – the movie. “Magic Mike.” “Plugged In” describes this film as “pornographically minded.” But should we expect anything different from a movie about male strippers? Yet believers are paying money to see it.

What does holiness look like?

Here’s what I want all of us – you and me, too – to think about: What does holiness look like?

  • God calls us to be holy as He is holy (1 Peter 1:15-16).
  • Jesus said we are to be in the world as His sanctified ambassadors, but we are not to be products of the world (John 17:15-18).
  • Paul tells us to “Flee from sexual immorality” because we are not our own, we’ve bought and paid for with the blood of Christ (1 Cor 6:18-20).
  • Jesus clearly told us that lustful thoughts are the same as adultery (Matt 5:28).

God’s Word is black and white. So why do we keep trying to blend God’s truth. Holiness is not grey – not any shade of grey.

I know today’s post may sound harsh to you, but this topic is heavy on my heart. I really want to hear your thoughts. And I would love for you to share this post.

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5 Ways to Spiritually Nurture Your Grandchildren

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Today I’m thrilled to have my friend Janet Thompson - who is a grandmother several times over – share with us today about ways we can spiritually nurture our grandchildren. (These tips would work with your own children too!) Janet, the author of a dozen books and Bible studies, has just released a new study in the New Hope Publishers line of Bible studies for women. “Face-to-Face with Lois and Eunice: Nurturing Faith in Your Family” helps women learn to pass their faith on to the next generation.

The only woman in the Bible referred to as a “grandmother” is Timothy’s grandmother, Lois. She and her daughter Eunice received accolades from the Apostle Paul on their rearing of his protégé and future pastor, young Timothy: “I [Paul] have been reminded of your sincere faith which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also” (2 Timothy 1:5, NIV).

He later adds: “And how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 3:15, NIV).

As a grandmother of 11 grandchildren who all know about Jesus (and some know Jesus as their Savior), here’s what I’ve learned from Lois:

  1. Pray for, mentor, and nurture the faith of your adult children—the parents of your grandchildren.
  2. Give with a purpose. Choose gifts that introduce grandchildren to Jesus at an early age. Shop at Christian bookstores or online to find age-appropriate games, books, DVDs, CDs, and toys.
  3. Look for opportunities to talk to grandchildren about Jesus and His love for them.
  4. Be a role model that family members admire and respect.
  5. Assume an active role in your grandchildren’s lives, even if you live far apart. Stay current and don’t criticize the things that interest them. Learn their communication style and method—email, texting, Skype or FaceTime, cell phone, social networking, etc. Remain relatable and relational with each generation.

Lois and Eunice were intentional in raising Timothy in the faith. The world didn’t set standards for their home, God did. They knew God’s Word and taught it to Timothy. I’ve found songs are one effective means to help children (and their parents) learn Scripture. Most kids love to sing along to CDs in the car and soon Mommy and Daddy are learning the words too.

Parents are often so busy raising their children that they rely on the church to educate the kids spiritually. We grandparents are usually at a stage of life where we can help parents nurture faith in the home. If relationships are strained with adult children or you don’t live close, you can still pray for them and/or keep in touch in different ways.

My prayer is that my legacy to my grandchildren will be: “Grammie taught us about the Bible and Jesus, and she lived what she believed.”

Share with us what are you doing to leave a spiritual legacy with your family.

 Find out more about Janet, her speaking, and books.

Get your own copy of “Face-to-Face with Lois and Eunice: Nurturing Faith in Your Family.”

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