We moved in June and I am in the process of building new friendships. I’ve had lots of practice making friends over the years. Over the last 33 years, our family has moved seven times for my husband’s job. Each time I left friends behind. Each time we settled into a new neighborhood with new neighbors. Each time we joined a new church with a new church family.
It didn’t take long to learn that if I wanted to enjoy meaningful, solid friendships I could not waste any time. I had to be intentional about making make friends and I had to be a friend worth having.
Sadly, today’s fast-paced, shallow culture hinders the kind of friendships God desires us to have. In Thursday’s post, we will look at biblical principles for building and keeping friendships, but today, let’s touch on a few things we’ll want to avoid.
Three Hindrances to Meaningful Friendships:
- Busyness – Does it seem you never have time to enjoy long conversations with the friends you have now? Do weeks go by without seeing your local friends face-to-face? Honestly, most of us make time to do what we really want to do. If you think you are just too busy to foster deep friendships, try keeping a time log for a week to see just where your time goes. Perhaps you’re serving in some areas where God has not called you. Or maybe you’re allowing too many activities for your children to dictate your life. Purposefully build some margin into your life. Your friendships are vital to your emotional and spiritual well-being.
- Fear of transparency – Although we cannot “go deep” with all our friends, we do need a few with whom we can share anything. We need people who can hear our hearts and understand. And we need friends who will hold us accountable when we are out of line. Yet, too often we are afraid to allow other people to know our flaws. We want them to think we have it all together. But we desperately need friends who will challenge us to be all God wants us to be. Yes, it can be scary, but test the waters. Choose one personal thing to share with a select friend and see how it goes!
- Breadth of acquaintances – In our social media world it’s easy to confuse quantity with depth. Thousands of shallow “friends” mask the lack of real, deep friendships. Let’s limit our time with our online friends and get out in the real world.
God created women to need other women. Meaningful friendships help us be all God intends for us to be. Let’s make friendship a priority! Come back Thursday to discover 11 biblical principles for solid friendships.
Do you feel you have enough true friends? If not, what do you feel is getting in the way?